modern warfare 2

For those of you who have taken the time to read through our games' review pages you would have, no doubt, realized that until now this page was conspicuous by its absence. There is an extremely good reason for this over-sight - put simply, I could not be arsed reviewing it....    
Let us regard the facts for one moment. Before its release, on Tuesday 10th November 2009, Modern Warfare 2, was the most anticipated game ever for any games-console or Personal Computer. Not surprisingly, this eagerly awaited game's cost was reflected in that it became the most expensive console game (to date) to hit the stores. The exception of course are the games which are supplied with additional peripherals; such as Guitar Hero, Band Hero or Anthony Banderas.

Now, irrespective of what I would have written at the time of its release, you would have still toddled off to your local games' shop to buy it. So reviewing it, praising it, or ripping it to shreds, would have been a completely pointless exercise on my part. (well, that's my excuse, anyway). Besides, I also did not want to fall into the same trap that we all fell into with its older brother COD4. In that instance we all bought the game and were so bedazzled that we completely ignored its blatant faults and foibles. Until, that is, it became so annoyingly horrible we simply could no longer bear to ignore the silent elephant that sat sulking in the corner of the room. COD4 had had its day, so perhaps MW2 would be its natural successor, a title World at War failed to grasp, a year earlier, when that was released in November 2008. So, as you can appreciate delaying this review of MW2 has given me a precious commodity - the power of hindsight. With that in mind I shall now promise faithfully to be as unbiased, straight and honest as I possibly can.


It is my firm belief that 'Call of Duty Modern Warefare2', is a complete bucketof turtle-wank.

I'm sorry but there is no other way of putting it. I can't dress it up. I can't disguise it nor can I paint or paper over the cracks. Modern warefare2 stinks like a Trout's pocket. What makes it worse is that the major faults, that are inherent with the game, are identical to those that plagued its older brother. Infinity Ward could have fixed these faults. No, that's not quite correct. Infinity Ward Should have ensured, through past experiences alone, that all the online server issues in COD4 would not be present in their brand new, most anticipated game. Yes, they did try to address the host ditching problem. But, big deal! The problem is still there and it just takes three times as long to finish a match now. The whole online, multi-player, situation is a massive display of incredible incompetence. The majority of the people I have spoken to, with regards to the multiplayer matches, all make exactly the same point about the a lack of 'public' Beta testing in the programming and testing phase. You will note though, on the lobby screen scores, that Infinity Ward staff busied themselves clocking up incomprehensible scores with highly imaginative gaming tags.

It's just a pity then that they never actually got round to making the damn thing play online with any sort of consistency. Never mind though eh? With any luck, after they have spent all their nice fat bonuses on fast cars, booze and women, they might actually find time to make a Call of Duty game that actually plays in good, fair, constant and stable manner in the next couple of years or so. That is if Activision have any customers left by then. In the meantime I believe that Infinity Ward's and Activision's ineptitude may have far reaching effects for the gaming communities future, but more about that later.....


Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2's game server goes on-line for the 1st time. Nov 10th 2009.


At this point I could add more venom to my bite. I could, for example, drone on about the lack of realism in the hit detection; the inclusion of the 1880's and the akimbo shotguns; the invincible stab manoeuvres or I could complain bitterly with regards to the horrendous lag and the lottery of game connection we face in every online match. I could also point out that because of the flaws in this game Infinity Ward may have also, unintentionally, killed off its older brother. Have you been on COD4 recently? Did you note how many matches are now abandoned before their completion? If you did then you will appreciate that the 'host ditching' has increased due to MW2's alleged 'new host' finding techniques. It does not work half the time, but it does not seem to stop people ditching willy-nilly on both of these games. I could continue being the harbinger of doom but I won't, because I'm feeling rather generous. Instead let's look at the good points about Modern Warfare2. For a start there are no games, outside of the Call of Duty range, that excel as much as MW2 does for its fluidity of movement. In comparison, Battlefield Bad Company feels really Clunky, like a fat-bird in high heels.

While Killzone2 feels very, clunky - the same fat-bird, but this time she's pissed and she's lost a shoe. However, MAG (Massive Action Game) PS3's supposedly newest online sensation, is a seriously fucked-up clunky mess - Yep, it's the same fat-bird analogy, but this time she's been hit by a bus that's driven so far into her bum-cleavage that the poor, old driver can't move for shit....

In other words, put simply, Modern Warfare is unbeatable when it comes to weapon control and movement. The game also has a fantastic array, and sheer choice, of weapons and firepower (with the obvious exception, of course, of the 1880's and the akimbo shotguns). The audio and graphics are outstanding, and again, cannot be matched by any other online, multiplayer game on any games console at the present moment (excluding PC games). Sadly, the maps are a bit of a disappointment. The general opinion seems to be that most of them encourage camping, although I think the lack of consistent connection is as much to blame for that. The one thing that never ceases to bemuse me is that in response to the complaints that the maps on COD4 were too small, Infinity Wards reaction was to go well and truly over-board in some of the maps' construction. There are huge chunks of both the 'De-rail' and 'Karachi' maps that never see any action at all. I wonder, did Infinity Ward originally have the idea of increasing the number players for online matches, construct the maps then realise the servers couldn't cope? Or, is that just another MW2 mystery that will never to be solved?

Pikey On The Roof

Pikeywhykey in highzyrizy with a snipeywhypy gunnywunny


Returning to the statement I made in an earlier paragraph; off the top of your head what do you think is going to be named as game of the year? Bearing in mind that the sales figures for Modern Warfare2 topped the billion dollar mark in early January, would you agree that there is a distinct possibility that this game will awarded the prestigious title of 'game of the year'? I would not be surprised. Its older brother was still winning awards (a BAFTA) a year after its release, so the prospect of MW2 being lavished with the 'baubles and trinkets' of the trade is somewhat of a safe bet. So now consider this question. Would you think it would be fair if a game so riddled with faults was merited as being the Top-Dog? And, what would be the implications to this dubious decision?
As I have already stated, in my view if praise is lavished where praise is not due, and those responsible for MW2 are lauded for their meagre offerings, then I'm afraid the out-look is very bleak for the gaming world. It is tantamount in giving Infinity Ward, and Activision, the message 'Well done, and carry on abusing your customers. Charge them whatever you see fit for supplying sub-standard material, and while you're at it, completely ignore their wishes and opinions.' The general message then given to all the other games manufactories is 'any old shit will suffice!' Hence, until there is proper regulation within the gaming industry the door will always be left propped open for companies to take appalling liberties with their customers.

Modern Failure

Here's another question you should consider. If you were to remove CODMW2 from your life, what games are there currently available to fill the gap that CODMW2 would leave. Bearing in mind all of its good points? If you are over twenty five years old, and Lego Emmanuel does not count in this scenario, there is virtually nothing that could offer a decent alternative for online gaming experience. Further to this, if Crysis2 and Medal of Honour fail to live up their true potential in Autumn, then we may have to face the depressing prospect of waiting a further year or so before we get 'the real deal'. A proper, exciting, fun, fair, consistent and stable online game.

To summarize, as they say in the advert, the future is not bright and its certainly not orange - it's more of a shitty brown, tapioca colour, and its dribbling from the cheeks of Sony's arse...Lord, help us!

Oh, I nearly forgot, there is one point that I should really mention. Something which deserves particular praise and merit. The 'Spec Ops' game for MW2 is fecking fantastic. Just one small gripe, next time Infinity Ward can you make it a four, or six, player game. Oh, and while you're at it, why not throw in a couple of zombies........

By Foctifino